Pennsylvania Weddings

Tea Reception

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Tea Reception</h3>
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Tea Reception</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>My daughter is having an afternoon wedding (2:00). She wants a tea reception. There will be about 150 guests. What would you suggest to serve with the cake and punch. I will probably be doing the catering myself as money is a factor. Thanks for your help.<br />Phyllis in Michigan. The wedding is May 29th.</i></div>
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What fun. I love to see folks step away from the traditional wedding "meal" so often based around a chicken breast. Three cheers for your daughter! An additional plus for you is that you have stumbled upon a true tea lover. You won't catch me with a cup of coffee, but a day is not complete without my pot of tea. Because of this your answer might be a bit long winded … just to much to talk about!</div>
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Let me speak a bit of the history of high tea before I focus on your particulars. Tea time, with it's emphasis on caffeine, some kind of sustenance, and sugar, provided the burst of energy so needed to make it until the next meal. The proper time frame for tea is from 3:00 to 6:00 in the afternoon. My Gramma Bee wouldn't think of trying to get through the afternoon without her tea and tiny morsel of something to tide her over.</div>
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Afternoon tea (or high tea) is a relaxing, drawn-out, civilized affair that usually consists of three courses, all elegantly served on delicate china. The first being dainty finger sandwiches (with the crusts cut off of course) followed by fresh baked scones served with jam and deliciously decadent Devonshire cream (clotted cream) and lastly, an array of bite sized sweets. Only the degree of pomp and selection of items served distinguishes afternoon tea from high tea. In England, you are what you eat. Your pedigree is under suspicion if you order beans on toast with your tea.</div>
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A true tea is always served at the individual table, so if you want to stick with this is a must. The cost of servers will be much less than the cost of food if you place it out on a buffet.</div>
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Tea; Gather fancy pots from friends and neighbors or hit the import stores, yard sales, swamp meets and rummage sales. Two pots per table of eight. Capture the elegant feeling by having the pots filled with hot water after the guests are served by special servers. Cups and saucers only, no mugs, not even Irish Coffee cups. Tea bags are just fine. Don't fret about matching the china. It adds to the conversation by having three or four different patterns on one table.</div>
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Each table should have a small tray of petite sandwiches presented, first one king, then another such as egg salad with a round of olive, cream cheese with cucumber and watercress, tiny cream puffs filled with a savory. Prep is easy if you select items that freeze well. Use butter and avoid mayonnaise when freezing. More costly could be cream cheese with smoked salmon, egg with caviar. It's the element of surprise that adds to the fun. What will we get next?! You can always purchase the pre made frozen canapés from places like Smart n Final,<br />Costco, and such.</div>
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Tiny biscuits (made with a heart shaped cookie cutter) could take the place of scones. Jars of jam like the ones at Cost Plus or Hickory Farms further entice. Pepper jelly on those tiny little toasts would also be unique and well within the theme.</div>
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I would serve petit-fours and one inch brownie squares before the crowning glory of a slice of wedding cake, champagne and fresh strawberries.</div>
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Now that I am thoroughly hungry, I will depart.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Tea Reception

Tea Reception Tea Reception Dear Wendy, My daughter is having an afternoon wedding (2:00). She wants a tea reception. There wil...

2:03 PM

Who is Listed as Host

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Who is Listed as Host</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,<br />Can you please help me? The problem is with my wedding invitations, you see, My (Bride) parents are paying for almost all of the wedding with the help of myself and the Groom. The Grooms parents have said that they don't want anything to do with the wedding, costs or anything else, they have also said that they might not even come to the wedding. My question is whose names should be on the invitations? I think that only my parents names should be on it because they are hosting but my mom says that both sets of parents should be included because this is tradition. Who is right? Please email me with a response as soon as possible.<br /><br />Thank you very much,<br />Shelley</i></div>
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Hi Shelley,</div>
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Traditionally speaking, it is the parents or individuals that "host" the celebration whose names are on the invitation. With this in mind, I would list only your parents. Many a couple in these modern times host their own wedding, which is why you see "Mary and Samuel invite you ... ". Or perhaps you have seen the above including the addition of "with their parents". This is used when the couple themselves, and both sets<br />of parents are hosting. I have come across many invitations that have the bride and groom's parents listed even though they are not financially helping. This is respectful acknowledgment, however, in your case I would not list his parents due to their open unwillingness to share in the joy. Naturally these are only examples, and you should use the wording that you feel most comfortable with.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>
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Who is Listed as Host

Who is Listed as Host Dear Wendy, Can you please help me? The problem is with my wedding invitations, you see, My (Bride) parents ...

1:58 PM

Who Can Come to Shower

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Who Can Come to Shower</h3>
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Who Can Come to Shower</h3>
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Who Can Come to Shower</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,<br /><br />My best friend is getting married this summer. She is having her dream wedding far away from where we live. Because of the location, several of our college friends are not included on the guest list. Some people feel a bit excluded. As maid of honor, I would really like to throw her a shower. Is is rude to invite people to a shower for someone who's wedding they will not attend?? Many of our friends have had weddings in the last few years, and she has always supported them in their big events. Now it is her turn, but I do not want to offend people by asking them to a shower. What is your advice? - Elizabeth</i></div>
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Hi Elizabeth,</div>
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Sorry, but it is not acceptable to invite a guest to a shower where a gift is expected and then not invite them to the celebration. From your question I will assume those being left out are all college buddies. How about a bachelorette party? Or what about a grown up slumber party? Just girls in their pj's, eating pop corn, spreading gossip, and sharing good times. An event of this type is often more memorable than the traditional shower because it is on a more personal level and has fewer people involved.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Who Can Come to Shower

Who Can Come to Shower Who Can Come to Shower Who Can Come to Shower Dear Wendy, My best friend is getting married this su...

1:55 PM

Dividing Expenses

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Dividing Expenses</h3>
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<i>My daughter will be getting married in May. Her father and I are divorced and we have no problems supporting our children emotionally. But, I as their Mother, do most of the expenses. My question is: Is there any way to share expenses and not have it be a difficult situation for all involved. When it comes to money and paying for a wedding what would be a reasonable way to deal with a sticky situation?</i></div>
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<i>I would appreciate some feedback as soon as possible. My daughter does not live in the same state as either parent so she cannot just go to both parents to work out expenses.</i></div>
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<i>Thank you. I want this to be fun for all of us.</i></div>
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<i>Sincerely,</i></div>
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<i>Patricia Jaqua</i></div>
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Hello Patricia and thank you for the question.</div>
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Here are a couple of suggestions for you. If they don't fit your<br />situation, feel free to pass along some further details and I will be glad to fine tune the answer.</div>
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Assuming that both you and your ex-husband are willing to supply the same amount of dollars toward the celebration, I suggest opening a new account. This can be in the form of a checking account or a credit card. Let's say you both have agreed to give $5,000.00. Whether you give that amount all up front or in monthly payments is up to you. Your daughter knows exactly what she has to work with and can keep track of the balance with ease in her "wedding account".</div>
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Another idea would be to assign the various parts of the celebration. Here is an example: Mom = florist, dress, and limousine. Dad = church, hall, and caterer. Daughter and groom = favors, attendant gifts, and disposable cameras. This option works wonderfully if you have one side contributing more than the other side.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Dividing Expenses

Dividing Expenses My daughter will be getting married in May. Her father and I are divorced and we have no problems supporting our ch...

1:47 PM

Bridal Toss

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Bridal Toss</h3>
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<i>I have a question and I know my DJ will work something out for us but I am not inviting very many single people so when I go to toss my bouquet the DJ mentioned a few good ways of getting any women that are interested in catching it to come forward. Of course now I can't remember what he said or how this works. I would really hate to see my 4 nieces and 2 single friends out on the dance floor all alone with me... I definately want to do the bouquet toss and my fiance really wants to do the garter toss as well....</i></div>
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<i>I think he mentioned something like all those with birthdays within the month,then going from there...</i></div>
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<i>If you can think of ways that this will work I would love to hear...</i></div>
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<i>Thank you,<br />Cheryl</i></div>
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Hi Cheryl,</div>
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I would not worry about the numbers. What a would not do is to<br />
introduce others into the group. If you had no single ladies and wanted to do a toss, then yes, you would need to create a category. However, you do have six eligible women and you might create hard feelings if you bring more folks up to the area just to make the group larger. After all, the toss is meant to represent whomever catches the bouquet is the next to get married.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />
Wendy</div>

Bridal Toss

Bridal Toss I have a question and I know my DJ will work something out for us but I am not inviting very many single peop...

1:43 PM

Second Weddings

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Second Weddings</h3>
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<i>My best friend is getting married again after losing her first husband to cancer. This will be a second wedding for both the bride and the groom. The bride has no children and the groom has 2 adult children. It will be a small ceremonie, held outside, with just family (and of course her best friend!). She wants to keep it simple, yet elegant. We were wondering what the protocal is for a second wedding. Is there any information we can access?</i></div>
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In my opinion, a wedding is something to celebrate. Be it the first or second, don't feel restricted by other's opinions. Marriage is a new beginning. It is a time to rejoice. You have weathered the storm of death and divorce and now choose to go on with your lives. That alone is something to commend. There are still those folks that feel a marriage, other than a first one, should occur without fanfare. Don't let them rain on your parade. Have the wedding you want, hoping they will help in making your day special. If they choose not to, it will be their loss.</div>
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Just as in a first marriage, the guest list should be designed using both the bride an groom's family and mutual friends. Also included should be those who have remained close from a previous marriage, such as former in-laws. If everyone feels comfortable, then they too should also be included.</div>
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The ceremony and reception should be built around you as individuals and as a couple. Second celebrations tend to be either casual, as in a outdoor barbecue theme, or intimate events focusing on elegance with smaller numbers.</div>
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All resources first time brides use apply to you as well.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>
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Second Weddings

Second Weddings My best friend is getting married again after losing her first husband to cancer. This will be a second wedding for both ...

1:35 PM

Finding Larger Shoe Sizes

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Finding Larger Shoe Sizes</h3>
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<i>Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>Any suggestions on where to find a wedding shoe for a size 11 AAA? I have looked through the catalogs I usually order my shoes from, to no avail. I've called a few manufacturers, and they don't make my size. Any ideas on where to turn? I'm not even looking for anything cute or trendy, just functional. Like a 1 to 1-1/2 inch heel and dyeable (dress is antique white).</i></div>
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<i>Thanks.</i></div>
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<i>Kathleen</i></div>
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<br />Kathleen,</div>
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My best suggestion would be to contact local bridal wear boutiques and ask for their recommendations. Also, look into shoe repair shops and shoe makers. If you think ballet slippers would work for you, there is another source, theatrical suppliers. Sorry to not be of more help.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>
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Finding Larger Shoe Sizes

Finding Larger Shoe Sizes Wendy, Any suggestions on where to find a wedding shoe for a size 11 AAA? I have looked through the catalogs ...

1:33 PM

Divorced Parents/Music

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Divorced Parents/Music</h3>
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Divorced Parents/Music</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,<br />I have too many questions to ask! Here are just two that I am currently struggling with.</i></div>
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<i>Both of our parents are divorced, all but his mother are now remarried. We want to somehow include each biological parent in the ceremony. The current spouses of each parent will be sitting in front of the chapel with each parent but will not be directly included in the ceremony. My father will be walking me down the isle. We are thinking about together presenting our mothers each with a rose. Is there some way to include his father. Also, is there a way to include a unity candle in this type of situation?</i></div>
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<i>My second question is regarding the music at our reception. We have opted for a small, quiet and elegant dinner reception. We are having a piano player entertain with background music at the beginning of the reception, as people enter and mingle, and during dinner. After that we have no plans, the reception should continue for another couple hours or so but we don't want 5 hours of continuous piano music. I'd like to stay away from a DJ. This is more a visiting and chatting event than a dancing event (no chicken dance!) Do you think that no music at all is a bad idea? Do you have any suggestions?</i></div>
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<i>Thank you for your guidance!<br />~Corinn DuBois</i></div>
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Hi Corinn,</div>
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Too many questions … never!</div>
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Concerning your parents. I think honoring each biological mother with a single rose is a wonderful public cknowledgment. The step mothers surely will understand the situation, and I find it hard to imagine that they would be offended by the gesture.<br /><br />To include the men how about having the biological fathers hold the wedding rings. At the proper moment, the officiate asks for the rings, each father will rise and step to the altar.<br /><br />As far as the unity candle is concerned, you can have a family unity candle which will include everyone and not allow anyone to have hard feelings or experience any awkwardness. I have seen this done two ways. Both ways begin with the randparents. The first is to let the grandparents light a candle and then hand it to the fathers who in turn hand it to their wives who pass it to the step fathers who pass it to their wives (the biological) mothers who in turn light the candles on the altar. The other version is to have all the grandparents, step parents and parents light a single candle all at once. The grandparents<br />then light another candle with the flame from their candle and pass it to the parents. The parents one by one hold their candle to the flame before passing it on. It ends with the person sitting in the front row aisle seat. The bride and groom walk to that individual and light their own candle and then walk to the unity candle and light that one. At this point, all the immediate family members are holding candles glowing to signify you will be bringing a little bit of them all with you into your new life together.</div>
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Now about your music. I have to say that no background music at all is not a good idea. Especially if your guests have been serenaded by a grand piano for some time. When it ceases, it becomes all to quiet and your guests may get the impression that the reception is to come to an end. I would look into a disc jockey. You need not play "dancing" music, but rather soft jazz. Another route would be to purchase a couple of jazz compact discs. Place a stereo in a central location and push the continuous play button. This option really doesn't work for<br />the larger groups of 100 and above. It is just too hard to make the sound travel the desired distance without the benefit of high quality equipment.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Divorced Parents/Music

Divorced Parents/Music Divorced Parents/Music Dear Wendy, I have too many questions to ask! Here are just two that I am currently...

1:31 PM

Country & Western Theme

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Country & Western Theme</h3>
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Country & Western Theme</h3>
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<i>I want a country and western style wedding but I don't know where to look for planning it.<br />Rhonda Shaw</i></div>
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Theme weddings can be fun to create. A theme gives you a subject to focus on and build upon. Somehow, it helps to pull everything together better. Here are some ideas for you and also a couple of web sites you might want to look around in.</div>
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<b>ACCENTS</b><br />Bales of hay scattered around<br />Place your gifts inside a life size covered wagon<br />Tossing rice placed in tiny western hats turn up side down</div>
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<b>ATTIRE</b><br />Wear white cowboy boots under your dress<br />Have the gentlemen in the wedding party wear bolos<br />Gentlemen - tux coats with black Wrangler jeans, black boots, white cowboy shirts, black bolos, and black hats.<br />Ladies - broomstick skirts, cowboy boots, lace shirts.</div>
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<b>CAKE TOPPER</b><br />Cowboy hat turned upside-down and filled with flowers<br />Porcelain bull and cow</div>
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<b>CENTERPIECES</b><br />Glass milk jars filled with meadow flowers</div>
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<b>ENTERTAINMENT</b><br />Instructions on line dancing<br />Hay rides for the guests<br />Presentation of folk dancing during dinner<br />Place a cut out cow in the middle of the dance floor, if anyone wants the bride and groom to dance they must rope the cow.</div>
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<b>FAVOR</b><br />Guests receive small cowbells to ring for the pronouncement<br />Red bandannas engraved with names and dates<br />Horse shoes</div>
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<b>FOOD AND SUCH</b><br />Tables made of saw horses and wooden planks<br />Bandanna napkins<br />Rustic serving dishes like tin plates<br />Cast iron pots and pans<br />Large triangle to ring to excuse tables 1 by 1 for the buffet</div>
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<b>PEW BOWS</b><br />Horse shoes with raffia and dried flowers</div>
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<b>SITE</b><br />Use a rustic barn for a donation to the farmer</div>
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<b>WEB PAGES</b><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.satnspurs.com">www.satnspurs.com</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.azone.net/hazels/wedding.html">www.azone.net/hazels/wedding.html</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.rentonww.com">www.rentonww.com</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.cattlekate.com">www.cattlekate.com</a></div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Country & Western Theme

Country & Western Theme Country & Western Theme I want a country and western style wedding but I don't know where to ...

1:29 PM

Outside Wedding

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Outside Wedding</h3>
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<i>I would love to have an outside wedding. I don't want anything fancy, just plain and simple. I have planned for the wedding to take place on June 19, 1999. Do you have any suggestions on how to decorate for an outside wedding?<br /><br />If I have a church wedding I would like to have the cake in the church reception hall and then plan for everyone to go and change clothes and then have a big fish fry and low country boil outside.</i></div>
<i style="background-color: white;">If I was to have the wedding outside it would take place at my brothers house where he has about 6 acres of flat land up on a hill in the most perfect setting. This is also the place I wish to have the dinner. I will also have a band booked for the outside dinner. </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Do you think this sounds like a good idea??? Should I plan for both in case of rain??? </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Any info will be greatly appreciated. </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Martha</i><br />
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Hi Martha,</div>
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When working with nature I always say less is best. Let the beauty of the surroundings be your focal point. Add subtle touches here and there. Your altar needs little accent if you allow the landscape to be your backdrop. Centerpieces need not be as elaborate nor necessarily the same on every table. Small bouquets of flowers tied with a narrow ribbon and placed in a ginger jar give the impression of a bouquet recently scooped up from the garden.</div>
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It is always wise to have a back up plan whenever you are planning an outdoor affair. By thinking ahead, your save yourself a great amount of stress if the weather should take a turn for the worse.</div>
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One word of caution - verify the lighting source is adequate. I've seen many a party end early due to the quest's inability to see. And be sure to plan for nature's creatures … mosquitoes, knats, flys, crickets, etc.</div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Outside Wedding

Outside Wedding I would love to have an outside wedding. I don't want anything fancy, just plain and simple...

1:26 PM

Wording Invitations

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Wording Invitations</h3>
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Wording Invitations</h3>
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<i>Hello Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>I am hoping you'll be able to help me, I've looked almost everywhere and I'm not sure how to word our invitation card. My parents are hosting the wedding at their house, so how does this get wroded on the invitation. I know how to do it if the wedding is at a friends house, but not at my own parents. The ceremony and reception will both be held at my parents. I hope you can help.</i></div>
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<i>Thanks, Silke</i></div>
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Hello and thanks for your question.</div>
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I believe only a couple of things need adjusting when a celebration is held in a private home. I'll go ahead and give you these suggestions now, but I will also check with a few fellow industry pals and see what they have to say.</div>
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You would not want to say "honor" or "honour" as this is reserved for ceremonies held in a church.</div>
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You would not need separate reception card due to both the ceremony and reception being held at the same location. You can simply state "immediately following".</div>
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As far as acknowledging that it is your parents home, before you list the address you could state " at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Smith".</div>
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Again, I am not completely sure of the above so I will be in contact with you again within a couple of days.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>
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Wording Invitations

Wording Invitations Wording Invitations Hello Wendy, I am hoping you'll be able to help me, I've looked almost everywhe...

1:19 PM

Guest Table Trivia

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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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<i>Hi Wendy!<br />Love your web site. It has some great information. I need your<br />help for my wedding next May. For our seating arrangement in the dining room, we are assigning tables. To denote the table, each will have a card with some kind of different wedding trivia, such as "the origin of the wedding cake" or "how did honeymoon get its name". My problem is that I'm having trouble coming up with enough short and sweet trivia tidbits. I need twelve and only have about four. Do you know a web site or place where I might find this information?? Thanks for your help!!<br /><br />Susie McConville<br />AMERITON Properties Incorporated</i></div>
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Hi Susie,</div>
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I am a cheerleader for creative ways to distinguish guest tables from one another. Working as ice breakers, they help the newly formed table mates to get to know one another instead of sitting in silence. Your selection is both entertaining and educational … bravo! As far as the questions themselves, any tradition or custom can be used. Simple turn the fact into a question. Below are some of the more popular bits of knowledge. Check out the book review section for an excellent book packed full of ideas for you to use, "A Bride's Book of Wedding Traditions".</div>
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HONEYMOON</div>
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#1<br />It was a custom in ancient times for a newly married couple to drink a potion containing honey on each of the first 30 days ( a moon ) of their marriage.</div>
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#2<br />It was accepted practice in Babylonian 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey moon" or what we know today as the "honeymoon".</div>
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MARRIAGE BY CAPTURE</div>
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The first marriages were by capture, i.e.; the groom would kidnap the bride and take her away from her tribe with the help of a warrior friend – the best man. The warrior friend would help fight off other men who wanted this woman and also help to prevent the bride's family from finding them. The groom would put himself and his bride into hiding – the honeymoon. By the time the bride's family found them the bride would already be pregnant. When the groom fought off other warriors who also wanted his bride he would hold onto her with his left hand while fighting with his sword in his right hand. This is why the bride stands on the left and the groom on the right.</div>
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RINGS</div>
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Traditionally the wedding band is worn on the inside with the engagement ring on the outside. This is so the wedding band is always closest to your heart.</div>
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TEACUP</div>
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At the turn of the century it was popular for a gentleman to give his<br />fiancé a teacup when they became engaged. She was to drink tea every afternoon and think of him while they were apart.</div>
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TICK-TOCK GOES THE CLOCK</div>
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To be married on the half-hour brings good luck because the minute hand is ascending toward heaven. To be married on the hour supposedly brings bad luck, since the minute hand is pointing in the opposite direction. Obviously, the most well timed ceremony takes place at noon, when the hands are "praying".</div>
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VEIL</div>
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During the times of arranged marriage, the groom's family told him whom he was to marry. The family very rarely let the groom see the bride before their wedding date. Not just the day of, but ever. The thought was that if the groom saw the bride beforehand and did not like the looks of her, he would protest the marriage. Therefore, when the groom lifted the brides veil after the pronouncement of marriage, it would be his first time of seeing her.</div>
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WITNESSES</div>
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It was once required that ten witnesses be present at a marriage<br />ceremony to outsmart jealous spirits. Bridesmaids dressed similarly to the bride and ushers attire resembled the groom. This confused the<br />spirits who wanted to harm the couple. If the spirits could not tell<br />the bride and groom apart from the attendants, they could not carry out their evil deed.</div>

Guest Table Trivia

Guest Table Trivia Guest Table Trivia Guest Table Trivia Hi Wendy! Love your web site. It has some great information. I ne...

1:12 PM

Keeping Maiden Name

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Keeping Maiden Name</h3>
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Keeping Maiden Name</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy--I read your advice about changing important documents and found it very informative. However, I am not going to change my name and I'm wondering if there is any specific advice you can give to address this. Is there a way to let all my family and friends know, or should I just rely on word of mouth? What about officially--Social Security, insurance, IRS, etc.? Should I expect to run into problems with this for a long time to come? Will I always have to arry a copy of our marriage certificate? Thank you for your advice. I enjoyed reading all the "ask Wendy" hints.<br />Thanks,<br />Kate from Macon, GA, getting married in Cleveland, OH, 6-5-99</i></div>
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Hi Kate,</div>
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Be it for professional or personal reasons, there are more and more bride's making the decision to keep their maiden names. It does lighten the paperwork some, but it does not eliminate it all together. You will still want to acknowledge and duly record the fact that you have married. This is particularly important with any legal documents, i.e. insurance, attorney, accountant. I still suggest making a certified copy of your marriage certificate so you can produce it should the need arise.</div>
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A clever way to spread the word about your decision, is to use rolodex cards as your reception favors. This is a thoughtful remembrance of your wedding for the guests as well as being a helpful one. By using the computer generated styles, you can jazz them up to your liking while still getting the point across.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Keeping Maiden Name

Keeping Maiden Name Keeping Maiden Name Dear Wendy--I read your advice about changing important documents and found it very infor...

1:10 PM

Gift Card Missing

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Gift Card Missing</h3>
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Gift Card Missing</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>One of the gifts which we received (which was deposited at the<br />reception) did not have a card or a tag. It is a lovely Mikasa crystal bowl. It was not purchased at one of our registry stores. Is there some way to tactfully investigate the identity of the giver, without offending or "putting on the spot" any guests who have not or did not give us a gift? About eight parties in attendance have not given us a gift as yet.</i></div>
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<i>We would like to thank the gift donor, if we only knew who it was.</i></div>
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<i>Any response would be appreciated.</i></div>
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<i>-Mark S. Farrior, AIA</i></div>
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Let me start by telling you a little story. My husband and I attended a wedding during the summer months. Knowing the bride loved hand crafted items we ordered a hand-made quilt for a wedding present. I put tissue paper inside a shoe box with the brochure from the quilt makers (no prices were mentioned) attached to our card. When we still had not received a<br />thank you three months after the wedding, I did some checking. The quilt had indeed been crafted, shipped, delivered and signed for by the bride. My worry was eliminated, but it was replaced with anger in regards to the newlyweds complete lack of courtesy towards their guests and proper thank you notes.</div>
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I would not want your guest to have any of the above described emotions. It is because of this, that I would write a thank you card to each of the nine couples you have narrowed it down to. A good way to ease the awkwardness of the thank you is to introduce some humor. Such as begin your thank with:<br />"There are three things in life that are certain; death, taxes, and missing cards. Guess which has occurred" or " Will the real gift giver please stand up". There is no way to beat around the bush in this situation. You want to recognize the giver, as you rightly should, and in doing so you might step on some toes. Continue on by saying you received a beautiful Mikasa bowl without a card. Since you don't know who the correct purchaser was, you are sending out a thank you to all those who signed the guest book<br />in hopes of thanking the missing person. Go ahead and say you are sending the thank you notes out to everyone when in reality you are only sending them out to those nine couples. They won't know the difference and this way they won't feel as if they are being singled out.</div>
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Happiness always<br />Wendy</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Gift Card Missing

Gift Card Missing Gift Card Missing Dear Wendy, One of the gifts which we received (which was deposited at the reception) did n...

1:09 PM

Including Children in Vows

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Including Children in Vows</h3>
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Including Children in Vows</h3>
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Including Children in Vows</h3>
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<i>Hi Wendy.<br />I was reading some of the older posts on the USA Bride bulletin<br />board and I saw one where you said you would give some information regarding vows that included children. I didn't see an updated posting on it, so I thought I'd just write and ask you about it. Any information you can give me will be really appreciated.<br />Thanks.</i></div>
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<i>Michele Smith<br />HQ ARPC/DRSA</i></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">WHO GIVES WHOM</span><br />
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A new tradition for the modern bride is to not be ‘given’ away in<br />marriage. This is not meant to show disrespect for her parents in any way. What it reflects is that she is a grown woman, perhaps who has been on her own for some time already. Or perhaps this is not her first marriage. Instead of the minister asking, "Who gives this woman in marriage?" exchange those words with, "Who blesses this union/couple?"</div>
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<br />INCLUDING CHILDREN</div>
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PASTOR ADDRESSING GUESTS: Elizabeth and Elliott come here today not only as individuals, but also as parents.<br />PASTOR MOTIONS CHILD/CHILDREN TO COME FORWARD. By joining hands they form the unending chain of a family. PASTOR ADDRESSES COUPLE: Elizabeth and Elliott, will you promise as parents to love and support your children as you do each other?<br />COUPLE: We will.<br />PASTOR ADDRESSES COUPLE AND CHILDREN: Will you promise to love and support each other as a family:<br />COUPLE AND CHILDREN TOGETHER: We will.<br />PASTOR ADDRESSING CHILD/CHILDREN: Elizabeth and<br />Elliott have chosen a reminder of today for you. The design of these bracelets will remind you of the unending strength of your family, one link depending on the other. Couple puts bracelet/s on child/children.<br />PASTOR ADDRESSES COUPLE AND CHILDREN: Always remember that being a family takes a lot of work, but it should also be fun. Try to bring some fun and laughter to every day as a family. Couple hugs child/children and he/she/they return to their seat/s.</div>
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<br />FAMILY VOWS</div>
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When Michael proposed marriage to Theresa, he did so with the knowledge that he would not only be assuming the role of a husband, but that he would also be accepting all the joy and responsibilities of a father to her son Christian Alexander. At this time, Michael and Theresa would like all that are gathered here today to witness not only the joining of a couple, but also the birth of a family. Michael will now present Christian with a bracelet, as a symbol of his promise to love and cherish his new son.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Including Children in Vows

Including Children in Vows Including Children in Vows Including Children in Vows Hi Wendy. I was reading some of the older...

1:07 PM

Throwing Rice

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Throwing Rice</h3>
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Throwing Rice</h3>
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<i>Hello,<br />I was wondering if you could tell me when is the appropriate time to throw rice after church. Do the guests wait while we have the receiving line and take pictures?<br />Thanks, Angela</i></div>
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Dear Angela,<br />If you are planning on having a receiving line immediately after the ceremony then I would hold off until the reception to have the toss. You and your groom will be greeting each guest as they exit the church. If you are not having a receiving line until the reception then have someone pass the word for guests to gather outside the church. You and your groom should be tucked<br />away somewhere until all the guests have made their exit. Then you make your entrance on the church steps and run to your waiting car as guests cheer and toss the birdseed/rice. The car takes off and goes around the block a couple of times and then returns to the church. This allows you the opportunity to<br />receive the send off before taking pictures - which allows your guests to continue on to the reception instead of waiting outside of the church for the photos to conclude.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Throwing Rice

Throwing Rice Throwing Rice Hello, I was wondering if you could tell me when is the appropriate time to throw rice after church. ...

1:04 PM

Crying

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Crying</h3>
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Crying</h3>
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<i>I am a very emotional person..just thinking about walking down the aisle with my father to my husband to be makes me cry how do I keep from crying on my wedding day?</i></div>
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<i>Thanks, Dawn</i></div>
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Dear Dawn,<br />Weddings are an emotional event. There is no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed about shedding a few tears. As a matter of fact, it is more or less expected. If you feel that there might be more that just a few tears falling, then here are some tips to keep them under control.</div>
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Before the ceremony, enter the church and walk down the aisle by yourself. Get the experience of doing it fully dressed. As you walk, pick an object on the altar to focus on. Remember this object and when you are doing the real thing, search that object out and concentrate on it.</div>
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Meet your groom before the ceremony. Stand at the altar with your dress spread and let him enter to see you in all your glory. This should be a private moment for just the two of you. Now when you walk down the aisle you will not be seeing each<br />other for the first time which should calm some nerves.</div>
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Carry a hankie in your bouquet or have your groom tuck one in his pocket. Let him be in charge of clearing those tears away. This can make for a memorable photo.</div>
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Right before you walk down the aisle have a private moment with your father alone. Let the emotion pour out now. Once it is all out, you can compose yourself and both of you will feel more relaxed.</div>
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As you walk down the aisle make eye contact with the guests seated on the aisle. By focusing on each face you will be concentrating on something else which should keep the tears in tact.</div>
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Above all, alert both your father and your husband to be of your concerns. Let the men in your life be there for you to lean on.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Crying

Crying Crying I am a very emotional person..just thinking about walking down the aisle with my father to my husband to be makes m...

12:19 PM

Finding Wedding Music

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Finding Wedding Music</h3>
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Finding Wedding Music</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>Here's the problem in a nutshell; where can I find an instrumental cassette of "I Only Have Eyes For You"? My fiancee's niece has offered to sing at our wedding and this is what I'd like as our processional. My wedding is in 28 days so time is crucial. I live in a very small northeast Oklahoma town and there no music stores or wedding stores, basically just Wal-Mart. Tulsa is about an hour away but I don't know where to start looking. Is there any way you can help?</i></div>
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<i>Thanks in advance,<br />Sandy</i></div>
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Hi Sandy,</div>
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As your question was a little bit out of my league I seeked some advice from one of my partners in crime. Below is his answer. If you would like to speak with him directly here is his email address: <a href="mailto:jam4u@myriad.net">jam4u@myriad.net</a><br />Happiness always, Wendy</div>
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<br />And now for Sandy's question.....</div>
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I'm going to assume since she's having someone sing at her wedding, that she is looking for a Karaoke version of the song 'I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU" by the Flamingos ( charted 6/1/59-HOT 100..#11)</div>
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What I recommend is for her to check with large chain stores in the OK area...such as Hastings.. Tower Records....even places like<br />Target...RadioShack...and yes Wal-mart or Sam's Club.....carry some sort of Karaoke cassettes...I'm sure they can mail her the tape if she has a credit card....or mail them a check or money order...and if they don't ...they can put her in touch with a company that does....SOUND CHOICE is one company that comes to my mind that sells Karaoke music....<br />Also....she might be able to go to a near by club or place that has a Karaoke night and talk to the Karaoke Jock.....they may have a copy that they can run off for her....or check with her local radio station....sometimes they may have an instrumental of the song that they use for some background music for one of their commercials....<br />If she has access to the Internet ...there are some sites that do<br />nothing but sell Karaoke music....and they do mail order....just search for KARAOKE.....</div>
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I hope that my assuming that she's looking for a Karaoke version is correct....if not...let me know....she might be able to use an instrumentalist doing the song....check for people like Ray Anthony.....Ray Conniff...but she might want to listen to them before she purchases a version by an instrumentalist....they<br />have a tendency to change the song up a little bit....</div>
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Let me know how it turns out.....</div>
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Sincerely,</div>
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John Q.<br />The Music Authority</div>

Finding Wedding Music

Finding Wedding Music Finding Wedding Music Dear Wendy, Here's the problem in a nutshell; where can I find an instrumental ...

12:17 PM

Wedding First Dance

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Wedding First Dance</h2>
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Wedding First Dance</h2>
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<li>1) I Cross My Heart - George Strait</li>
<li>2) I Swear - John M. Montgomery or All 4 One</li>
<li>3) I Can Love You Like That - John M. Montgomery</li>
<li>4) I’ll Be There - Mariah Carey</li>
<li>5) (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Brian Adams</li>
<li>6) Don’t Know Much - Linda Ronstant & Aaron Neville</li>
<li>7) All My Life - Linda Ronstant & Aaron Neville</li>
<li>8) Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers</li>
<li>9) A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle</li>
<li>10) No Ordinary Love - Sade</li>
<li>11) Here and Now - Luther Vandross</li>
<li>12) Can I Have This Dance? - Ann Murray</li>
<li>13) When You Say Nothing At All - Allison Krauss</li>
<li>14) On Bent Knees - Boyz II Men</li>
<li>15) Tonight I Celebrate my Love - Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson<h2>
<u>Father 
Daughter Dance</u></h2>
</li>
<li>1) Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle</li>
<li>2) Daddy’s Hands - Holly Dunn</li>
<li>3) One More Time - Mikki</li>
<li>4) Thank Heaven For Little Girls - Merl Haggard</li>
<li>5) The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra<h2>
<u>Mother Son Dance</u></h2>
</li>
<li>1) Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Middler</li>
<li>2) Nothing Going To Harm You - Barbara Strisdand</li>
<li>3) Times Of Your Life - Paul Anka</li>
<li>4) A Song For My Son - Mikki</li>
<li>5) Wishing Tree - Sonia DaDa<h2>
<u>Dance Hits</u></h2>
</li>
<li>1) Celebration - Kool And The Gang</li>
<li>2) Locomotion - Little Eva</li>
<li>3) Its All Good - MC Hammer</li>
<li>4) Friends In Low Places - Garth Brooks</li>
<li>5) Push It - Salt & Pepper</li>
<li>6) Dancing In The Dark - Bruce Springsteen</li>
<li>7) Al Right - Janet Jackson</li>
<li>8) Vogue - Madonna</li>
<li>9) We Are Family - Sister Sledge</li>
<li>10) Love Shack - B-52s</li>
<li>11) In The Mood (Instrumental) - Glen Miller</li>
<li>12) Shout - Dynetoones</li>
<li>13) Goanna Make You Sweat - C&C Music Factory</li>
<li>14) YMCA - The Village People 15) Any Man of Mine - Shania Twain<h2>
<u>
Bouquet Toss</u></h2>
</li>
<li>1) Girls Night Out - The Judds</li>
<li>2) Whipped Cream (Dating Game Theme) - Herb Albert</li>
<li>3) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cindy Lauper</li>
<li>4) California Girls - Beach Boys</li>
<li>5) "Miss. America Theam"<h2>
<u>Garter Toss</u></h2>
</li>
<li>1) Hot Legs - Rod Stewart</li>
<li>2) "Drum Roll"</li>
<li>3) The Stripper - David Rose</li>
<li>4) The Pink Panther Theme</li>
<li>5) Whoomp There It Is - Tag Team<h2>
<u>Background or Dinner Music</u></h2>
</li>
<li>Yanni - "In My Time"</li>
<li>Enya "Shepherd Moons"</li>
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<li>Andrew Lloyd Webber "Greatest Hits"</li>

Wedding First Dance

Wedding First Dance Wedding First Dance 1) I Cross My Heart - George Strait 2) I Swear - John M. Montgomery or Al...

12:10 PM

Honoring Deceased Loved Ones

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Honoring Deceased Loved Ones</h3>
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<i>Wendy -<br />HELP!!!!!!!! I'm getting married 11-07-98, and I want to do something special in the memory of my father is died 5-5-96 of lung cancer. We have heard a couple of different things, but nothing that I really like. Could you give me some ideas? Also, do you have any special songs that I could dance with my mother? Also something different for Kevin to dance with his<br />mother. Thanks for your help. I have been reading your articles ever since you got online. I look forward every month to reading your stuff!!!!!!!!!!!<br />Doreen </i></div>
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Hi Doreen and thanks for the nice compliments!</div>
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Concerning a tribute to your late father. Here are a couple of ideas:<br />#1 Carry a single stem of your father’s favorite flower in your<br />bouquet. When you reach the chair that he would have occupied, lay the flower upon the seat of the chair.</div>
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#2 If time permits and the location is close, you and your new husband can visit his grave site. You can leave her own bouquet or have a special remembrance made to be placed in tribute on the grave. This is a private moment for the couple and should be left to the two of you alone.</div>
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#3 Have a special candelabra set up with the number of candles<br />representing those whom have departed. These should be lit before any guest arrives. In the program a word or two should be written explaining their meaning and for whom the represent. Something as simple as, "The candlelight represents those that are watching over us today".</div>
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Concerning the first dance. There are so many to choose from. It<br />really depends on your personal taste of music. I have listed a couple of links that have both the name of the song and the artist. Perhaps something will spark some interest as you read over the lists. I would suggest you do a trial run of the dance before the actual event. This does not have to be with your mom and him with his mom. It could be with you and your fiancé’. The point is to try the song out. Does it work? Is it easy to dance to? Does it seem to go on and on and never end? Can I dance with my mom for this long? Here are the links:<br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990218102852/http://www.weddingtips.com/wtfavori.html">http://www.weddingtips.com/wtfavori.html</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990218102852/http://www.weddingtips.com/wt-first-dance-songs.html">http://www.weddingtips.com/wt-first-dance-songs.html</a><br />I have also used John before when researching names of artists or songs.</div>
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Perhaps he could give you some more specific suggestions:<br /><a href="mailto:jam4u@myriad.net">jam4u@myriad.net</a></div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Honoring Deceased Loved Ones

Honoring Deceased Loved Ones Wendy - HELP!!!!!!!! I'm getting married 11-07-98, and I want to do something special...

12:07 PM

Wedding Favors

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Wedding Favors</h3>
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Wedding Favors</h3>
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<i>Wendy -<br />I am so worn out from trying to come up with a out of the<br />ordinary favor. Do you have any ideas? Please don’t say bubbles,<br />Jordan almonds, pot pourri, or tiny bells. Hoping you can help -<br />Krystal</i></div>
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You are in luck Krystal.<br />The easiest way to create a favor that is truly unique is to start with you and your groom and why you are unique. Design a favor around your lifestyles. An unusual favor will not only promote conversation among your guests, but it will<br />also reveal a part of you that some guests may not be aware of.<br />Here are some examples:</div>
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Bride’s nickname is tootsie - mini tootsie rolls<br />Couple’s first date was a chinese restaurant - chop sticks<br />or personalized fortune cookies<br />Bride is a teacher - engraved pencils, rulers, real apples<br />Sports lovers- key-chain of favorite team<br />Couple love’s Disneyworld - Mickey Mouse ears (hats)<br />Groom grew up on a dairy farm - cow refrigerator magnets<br />Couple met at a local coffee house - personalized coffee mugs<br />Couple’s first date was to a baseball game - baseball caps</div>
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You may think some of the above are way to expensive to even<br />think about. Not so. Check into marketing companies that sell<br />every imaginable for business promotionals. The great part about<br />working with this type of a favor - the more you get the lower<br />your per piece price goes.</div>

Wedding Favors

Wedding Favors Wedding Favors Wendy - I am so worn out from trying to come up with a out of the ordinary favor. Do you have any i...

12:03 PM

Writing Own Vows

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Writing Own Vows</h3>
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Writing Own Vows</h3>
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<i>Hi Wendy,<br />My bride and I will be marrying in the spring of next year. we will have a non-denominational wedding incorporating several traditions. We would like to write our own vows and would like to do a little research on the subject. I have been having trouble finding anything on the subject. Thanks for any directions you can point me in.<br />David</i></div>
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<br />Hi David,</div>
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The ceremony portion of your wedding day is when you will<br />share with your guests an incredible intimate moment. While<br />keeping in mind the tradition and history you bring into the<br />marriage, you also want to make a statement about who you<br />and your bride are. Both as individuals, and as a couple.</div>
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I am glad to see you starting the vow writing task in advance.<br />So many couples wait until the last month, if not week, before<br />sitting down to create their ceremony. This portion of the<br />celebration should be given as much time and consideration<br />as you spent selecting your wedding vendors.</div>
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Here are a couple of books you might want to look into. First<br />check into them at your local library, if they speak to you, then<br />you may want to purchase them as a handy reference.You can purchase them right on line here at Pennsylvania Weddings.</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=156414237X/pennsylvaniaweddA/">Complete Book of Wedding Vows</a> - Diane Warner - $11.99 Paperback - 192 pages - One readers thoughts "I was delighted<br />to find several examples, each different, interesting and easy-to-use as a jumping off point toward writing your own personalized vows"</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=038076928X/pennsylvaniaweddA/">For As Long As We Both Shall Live</a> - Roger Fritts - $12.00 -<br />Paperback - 203 pages - Synopsis - Fritts explains and identifies<br />the parts of a wedding service and shows couple how to adapt<br />the basic services to fit their own needs.</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0890876797/pennsylvaniaweddA/">I Do:Create Your Own Unique Ceremony</a> - Sydney Metrick -<br />$11.95 - Paperback - 134 pages - One readers thoughts " Metrick<br />helped us draw the best from our histories and blend it with our<br />values and desires for an original ceremony.</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060924691/pennsylvaniaweddA/">Into the Garden</a> - Robert Hass - $12.50 - Paperback - 240pages -<br />Synopsis - A collection of poems and prose that will add a unique<br />and personal dimension to the ceremony.</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0140088792/pennsylvaniaweddA/">Wedding Readings</a> - Eleanor Munro - $12.95 - Paperback -<br />262 pages - Synopsis - Selected from both sacred and secular texts, the rich collection of poems, prose, ethnic love songs, prayers and psalms offers wise, inspiring reflections on the nature of love and commitment. The introduction to each reading contain information on wedding customs throughout the world. (This might be a good book to help you bring a custom from your ancestors)</div>
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<a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0943233941/pennsylvaniaweddA/">Weddings From the Heart </a>- Daphne Kingma - $12.95 - Paperback<br />- 200 pages - Includes over 100 thoughts on love to help create<br />the perfect ceremony.</div>
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(More books are available at the Pennsylvania Weddings bookstore - <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://paweddings.com/BOOKS.HTM">Click here</a>)</div>
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Here are some newlywed’s web pages. Within the site they list<br />their wedding scripts.<br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.ecommerce.nu/wedding/">http://www.ecommerce.nu/wedding/</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://members.aol.com/wedsite/independence.htm">http://members.aol.com/wedsite/independence.htm</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://reality.sgi.com/jessh/wedding/index.shtml">http://reality.sgi.com/jessh/wedding/index.shtml</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pointe/1916/">http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pointe/1916/</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/6509/wedding.htm">http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/6509/wedding.htm</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990209183848/http://www.loop.com/~padraic/wedding/wedtitle.html">http://www.loop.com/~padraic/wedding/wedtitle.html</a></div>
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The best way to create personal vows is to begin with words.<br />Simply write down words that describe your fiancé, what love,<br />commitment and marriage mean to you, and your views on the<br />future. With these words you are now ready to use the above<br />guides to build some wedding vows that describe you, your<br />fiancé and your the new life you are building together.</div>
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Happiness always,Wendy</div>

Writing Own Vows

Writing Own Vows Writing Own Vows Hi Wendy, My bride and I will be marrying in the spring of next year. we will have a non-denomi...

12:02 PM

Head Table Placement

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Head Table Placement</h3>
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Head Table Placement</h3>
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<i>Hello Wendy,<br />My fiancé and I will have approximately 300 guests attending our spring wedding. All of our guests are special to us and we need advice on how to avoid having anyone feel as if they are sitting in the back of the room. The hall we have reserved has no set pattern and will accommodate 400 easily.<br />Thank you for your help.<br />Susan and Tyler</i></div>
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Thank you for the question Susan and Tyler.<br />It is a common problem with larger weddings. What can you do to make all the tables feel involved in the action. Here is one alternative:</div>
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Center Stage = Rather than having a traditional banquet style head table, use round tables. Have a round with you and your parents, one for your groomsmen and their significant others and one for your bridesmaids and their significant others.<br />The trick is to place the honor tables in the center of the room with all the guest tables surrounding. Your tables can be accented with different shades of your wedding colors or more elaborate<br />centerpieces. Yes your backs will be to some of the guests, but for the short length of time you are actually sitting at the table it is not considered rude at all.</div>
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Happiness always,Wendy</div>

Head Table Placement

Head Table Placement Head Table Placement Hello Wendy, My fiancé and I will have approximately 300 guests attending our spring we...

12:00 PM