Pennsylvania Weddings

Divorced Parents/Music

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Divorced Parents/Music</h3>
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Divorced Parents/Music</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,<br />I have too many questions to ask! Here are just two that I am currently struggling with.</i></div>
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<i>Both of our parents are divorced, all but his mother are now remarried. We want to somehow include each biological parent in the ceremony. The current spouses of each parent will be sitting in front of the chapel with each parent but will not be directly included in the ceremony. My father will be walking me down the isle. We are thinking about together presenting our mothers each with a rose. Is there some way to include his father. Also, is there a way to include a unity candle in this type of situation?</i></div>
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<i>My second question is regarding the music at our reception. We have opted for a small, quiet and elegant dinner reception. We are having a piano player entertain with background music at the beginning of the reception, as people enter and mingle, and during dinner. After that we have no plans, the reception should continue for another couple hours or so but we don't want 5 hours of continuous piano music. I'd like to stay away from a DJ. This is more a visiting and chatting event than a dancing event (no chicken dance!) Do you think that no music at all is a bad idea? Do you have any suggestions?</i></div>
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<i>Thank you for your guidance!<br />~Corinn DuBois</i></div>
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Hi Corinn,</div>
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Too many questions … never!</div>
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Concerning your parents. I think honoring each biological mother with a single rose is a wonderful public cknowledgment. The step mothers surely will understand the situation, and I find it hard to imagine that they would be offended by the gesture.<br /><br />To include the men how about having the biological fathers hold the wedding rings. At the proper moment, the officiate asks for the rings, each father will rise and step to the altar.<br /><br />As far as the unity candle is concerned, you can have a family unity candle which will include everyone and not allow anyone to have hard feelings or experience any awkwardness. I have seen this done two ways. Both ways begin with the randparents. The first is to let the grandparents light a candle and then hand it to the fathers who in turn hand it to their wives who pass it to the step fathers who pass it to their wives (the biological) mothers who in turn light the candles on the altar. The other version is to have all the grandparents, step parents and parents light a single candle all at once. The grandparents<br />then light another candle with the flame from their candle and pass it to the parents. The parents one by one hold their candle to the flame before passing it on. It ends with the person sitting in the front row aisle seat. The bride and groom walk to that individual and light their own candle and then walk to the unity candle and light that one. At this point, all the immediate family members are holding candles glowing to signify you will be bringing a little bit of them all with you into your new life together.</div>
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Now about your music. I have to say that no background music at all is not a good idea. Especially if your guests have been serenaded by a grand piano for some time. When it ceases, it becomes all to quiet and your guests may get the impression that the reception is to come to an end. I would look into a disc jockey. You need not play "dancing" music, but rather soft jazz. Another route would be to purchase a couple of jazz compact discs. Place a stereo in a central location and push the continuous play button. This option really doesn't work for<br />the larger groups of 100 and above. It is just too hard to make the sound travel the desired distance without the benefit of high quality equipment.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Divorced Parents/Music

Divorced Parents/Music Divorced Parents/Music Dear Wendy, I have too many questions to ask! Here are just two that I am currently...

1:31 PM

Country & Western Theme

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Country & Western Theme</h3>
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Country & Western Theme</h3>
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<i>I want a country and western style wedding but I don't know where to look for planning it.<br />Rhonda Shaw</i></div>
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Theme weddings can be fun to create. A theme gives you a subject to focus on and build upon. Somehow, it helps to pull everything together better. Here are some ideas for you and also a couple of web sites you might want to look around in.</div>
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<b>ACCENTS</b><br />Bales of hay scattered around<br />Place your gifts inside a life size covered wagon<br />Tossing rice placed in tiny western hats turn up side down</div>
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<b>ATTIRE</b><br />Wear white cowboy boots under your dress<br />Have the gentlemen in the wedding party wear bolos<br />Gentlemen - tux coats with black Wrangler jeans, black boots, white cowboy shirts, black bolos, and black hats.<br />Ladies - broomstick skirts, cowboy boots, lace shirts.</div>
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<b>CAKE TOPPER</b><br />Cowboy hat turned upside-down and filled with flowers<br />Porcelain bull and cow</div>
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<b>CENTERPIECES</b><br />Glass milk jars filled with meadow flowers</div>
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<b>ENTERTAINMENT</b><br />Instructions on line dancing<br />Hay rides for the guests<br />Presentation of folk dancing during dinner<br />Place a cut out cow in the middle of the dance floor, if anyone wants the bride and groom to dance they must rope the cow.</div>
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<b>FAVOR</b><br />Guests receive small cowbells to ring for the pronouncement<br />Red bandannas engraved with names and dates<br />Horse shoes</div>
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<b>FOOD AND SUCH</b><br />Tables made of saw horses and wooden planks<br />Bandanna napkins<br />Rustic serving dishes like tin plates<br />Cast iron pots and pans<br />Large triangle to ring to excuse tables 1 by 1 for the buffet</div>
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<b>PEW BOWS</b><br />Horse shoes with raffia and dried flowers</div>
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<b>SITE</b><br />Use a rustic barn for a donation to the farmer</div>
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<b>WEB PAGES</b><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.satnspurs.com">www.satnspurs.com</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.azone.net/hazels/wedding.html">www.azone.net/hazels/wedding.html</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.rentonww.com">www.rentonww.com</a><br /><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/19990428233941/http://paweddings.com/www.cattlekate.com">www.cattlekate.com</a></div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Country & Western Theme

Country & Western Theme Country & Western Theme I want a country and western style wedding but I don't know where to ...

1:29 PM

Outside Wedding

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Outside Wedding</h3>
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<i>I would love to have an outside wedding. I don't want anything fancy, just plain and simple. I have planned for the wedding to take place on June 19, 1999. Do you have any suggestions on how to decorate for an outside wedding?<br /><br />If I have a church wedding I would like to have the cake in the church reception hall and then plan for everyone to go and change clothes and then have a big fish fry and low country boil outside.</i></div>
<i style="background-color: white;">If I was to have the wedding outside it would take place at my brothers house where he has about 6 acres of flat land up on a hill in the most perfect setting. This is also the place I wish to have the dinner. I will also have a band booked for the outside dinner. </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Do you think this sounds like a good idea??? Should I plan for both in case of rain??? </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Any info will be greatly appreciated. </i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><i style="background-color: white;">Martha</i><br />
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Hi Martha,</div>
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When working with nature I always say less is best. Let the beauty of the surroundings be your focal point. Add subtle touches here and there. Your altar needs little accent if you allow the landscape to be your backdrop. Centerpieces need not be as elaborate nor necessarily the same on every table. Small bouquets of flowers tied with a narrow ribbon and placed in a ginger jar give the impression of a bouquet recently scooped up from the garden.</div>
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It is always wise to have a back up plan whenever you are planning an outdoor affair. By thinking ahead, your save yourself a great amount of stress if the weather should take a turn for the worse.</div>
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One word of caution - verify the lighting source is adequate. I've seen many a party end early due to the quest's inability to see. And be sure to plan for nature's creatures … mosquitoes, knats, flys, crickets, etc.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Outside Wedding

Outside Wedding I would love to have an outside wedding. I don't want anything fancy, just plain and simple...

1:26 PM

Wording Invitations

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Wording Invitations</h3>
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Wording Invitations</h3>
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<i>Hello Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>I am hoping you'll be able to help me, I've looked almost everywhere and I'm not sure how to word our invitation card. My parents are hosting the wedding at their house, so how does this get wroded on the invitation. I know how to do it if the wedding is at a friends house, but not at my own parents. The ceremony and reception will both be held at my parents. I hope you can help.</i></div>
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<i>Thanks, Silke</i></div>
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Hello and thanks for your question.</div>
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I believe only a couple of things need adjusting when a celebration is held in a private home. I'll go ahead and give you these suggestions now, but I will also check with a few fellow industry pals and see what they have to say.</div>
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You would not want to say "honor" or "honour" as this is reserved for ceremonies held in a church.</div>
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You would not need separate reception card due to both the ceremony and reception being held at the same location. You can simply state "immediately following".</div>
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As far as acknowledging that it is your parents home, before you list the address you could state " at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Smith".</div>
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Again, I am not completely sure of the above so I will be in contact with you again within a couple of days.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>
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Wording Invitations

Wording Invitations Wording Invitations Hello Wendy, I am hoping you'll be able to help me, I've looked almost everywhe...

1:19 PM

Guest Table Trivia

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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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Guest Table Trivia</h3>
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<i>Hi Wendy!<br />Love your web site. It has some great information. I need your<br />help for my wedding next May. For our seating arrangement in the dining room, we are assigning tables. To denote the table, each will have a card with some kind of different wedding trivia, such as "the origin of the wedding cake" or "how did honeymoon get its name". My problem is that I'm having trouble coming up with enough short and sweet trivia tidbits. I need twelve and only have about four. Do you know a web site or place where I might find this information?? Thanks for your help!!<br /><br />Susie McConville<br />AMERITON Properties Incorporated</i></div>
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Hi Susie,</div>
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I am a cheerleader for creative ways to distinguish guest tables from one another. Working as ice breakers, they help the newly formed table mates to get to know one another instead of sitting in silence. Your selection is both entertaining and educational … bravo! As far as the questions themselves, any tradition or custom can be used. Simple turn the fact into a question. Below are some of the more popular bits of knowledge. Check out the book review section for an excellent book packed full of ideas for you to use, "A Bride's Book of Wedding Traditions".</div>
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HONEYMOON</div>
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#1<br />It was a custom in ancient times for a newly married couple to drink a potion containing honey on each of the first 30 days ( a moon ) of their marriage.</div>
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#2<br />It was accepted practice in Babylonian 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey moon" or what we know today as the "honeymoon".</div>
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MARRIAGE BY CAPTURE</div>
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The first marriages were by capture, i.e.; the groom would kidnap the bride and take her away from her tribe with the help of a warrior friend – the best man. The warrior friend would help fight off other men who wanted this woman and also help to prevent the bride's family from finding them. The groom would put himself and his bride into hiding – the honeymoon. By the time the bride's family found them the bride would already be pregnant. When the groom fought off other warriors who also wanted his bride he would hold onto her with his left hand while fighting with his sword in his right hand. This is why the bride stands on the left and the groom on the right.</div>
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RINGS</div>
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Traditionally the wedding band is worn on the inside with the engagement ring on the outside. This is so the wedding band is always closest to your heart.</div>
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TEACUP</div>
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At the turn of the century it was popular for a gentleman to give his<br />fiancé a teacup when they became engaged. She was to drink tea every afternoon and think of him while they were apart.</div>
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TICK-TOCK GOES THE CLOCK</div>
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To be married on the half-hour brings good luck because the minute hand is ascending toward heaven. To be married on the hour supposedly brings bad luck, since the minute hand is pointing in the opposite direction. Obviously, the most well timed ceremony takes place at noon, when the hands are "praying".</div>
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VEIL</div>
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During the times of arranged marriage, the groom's family told him whom he was to marry. The family very rarely let the groom see the bride before their wedding date. Not just the day of, but ever. The thought was that if the groom saw the bride beforehand and did not like the looks of her, he would protest the marriage. Therefore, when the groom lifted the brides veil after the pronouncement of marriage, it would be his first time of seeing her.</div>
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WITNESSES</div>
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It was once required that ten witnesses be present at a marriage<br />ceremony to outsmart jealous spirits. Bridesmaids dressed similarly to the bride and ushers attire resembled the groom. This confused the<br />spirits who wanted to harm the couple. If the spirits could not tell<br />the bride and groom apart from the attendants, they could not carry out their evil deed.</div>

Guest Table Trivia

Guest Table Trivia Guest Table Trivia Guest Table Trivia Hi Wendy! Love your web site. It has some great information. I ne...

1:12 PM

Keeping Maiden Name

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Keeping Maiden Name</h3>
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Keeping Maiden Name</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy--I read your advice about changing important documents and found it very informative. However, I am not going to change my name and I'm wondering if there is any specific advice you can give to address this. Is there a way to let all my family and friends know, or should I just rely on word of mouth? What about officially--Social Security, insurance, IRS, etc.? Should I expect to run into problems with this for a long time to come? Will I always have to arry a copy of our marriage certificate? Thank you for your advice. I enjoyed reading all the "ask Wendy" hints.<br />Thanks,<br />Kate from Macon, GA, getting married in Cleveland, OH, 6-5-99</i></div>
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Hi Kate,</div>
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Be it for professional or personal reasons, there are more and more bride's making the decision to keep their maiden names. It does lighten the paperwork some, but it does not eliminate it all together. You will still want to acknowledge and duly record the fact that you have married. This is particularly important with any legal documents, i.e. insurance, attorney, accountant. I still suggest making a certified copy of your marriage certificate so you can produce it should the need arise.</div>
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A clever way to spread the word about your decision, is to use rolodex cards as your reception favors. This is a thoughtful remembrance of your wedding for the guests as well as being a helpful one. By using the computer generated styles, you can jazz them up to your liking while still getting the point across.</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Keeping Maiden Name

Keeping Maiden Name Keeping Maiden Name Dear Wendy--I read your advice about changing important documents and found it very infor...

1:10 PM

Gift Card Missing

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Gift Card Missing</h3>
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Gift Card Missing</h3>
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<i>Dear Wendy,</i></div>
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<i>One of the gifts which we received (which was deposited at the<br />reception) did not have a card or a tag. It is a lovely Mikasa crystal bowl. It was not purchased at one of our registry stores. Is there some way to tactfully investigate the identity of the giver, without offending or "putting on the spot" any guests who have not or did not give us a gift? About eight parties in attendance have not given us a gift as yet.</i></div>
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<i>We would like to thank the gift donor, if we only knew who it was.</i></div>
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<i>Any response would be appreciated.</i></div>
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<i>-Mark S. Farrior, AIA</i></div>
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Let me start by telling you a little story. My husband and I attended a wedding during the summer months. Knowing the bride loved hand crafted items we ordered a hand-made quilt for a wedding present. I put tissue paper inside a shoe box with the brochure from the quilt makers (no prices were mentioned) attached to our card. When we still had not received a<br />thank you three months after the wedding, I did some checking. The quilt had indeed been crafted, shipped, delivered and signed for by the bride. My worry was eliminated, but it was replaced with anger in regards to the newlyweds complete lack of courtesy towards their guests and proper thank you notes.</div>
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I would not want your guest to have any of the above described emotions. It is because of this, that I would write a thank you card to each of the nine couples you have narrowed it down to. A good way to ease the awkwardness of the thank you is to introduce some humor. Such as begin your thank with:<br />"There are three things in life that are certain; death, taxes, and missing cards. Guess which has occurred" or " Will the real gift giver please stand up". There is no way to beat around the bush in this situation. You want to recognize the giver, as you rightly should, and in doing so you might step on some toes. Continue on by saying you received a beautiful Mikasa bowl without a card. Since you don't know who the correct purchaser was, you are sending out a thank you to all those who signed the guest book<br />in hopes of thanking the missing person. Go ahead and say you are sending the thank you notes out to everyone when in reality you are only sending them out to those nine couples. They won't know the difference and this way they won't feel as if they are being singled out.</div>
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Happiness always<br />Wendy</div>
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Happiness always,<br />Wendy</div>

Gift Card Missing

Gift Card Missing Gift Card Missing Dear Wendy, One of the gifts which we received (which was deposited at the reception) did n...

1:09 PM

Pennsylvania Weddings

Divorced Parents/Music

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Wording Invitations

Guest Table Trivia

Keeping Maiden Name

Gift Card Missing

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